Skip to main content

Cleopatra and Gaumata


Though India’s own Entrepreneur Baba keeps denouncing everything foreign as unhealthy for the holy people of Bharat, Gujarat Gauseva and Gauchar Vikas Board have imported Egypt’s own Cleopatra as the model of beauty for Bharatiya nari

According to these Gujarat gaurakshaks,
1.     Cleopatra was the most beautiful woman in the world.
2.     Cleopatra used cow’s milk for bathing.
3.     Therefore the Indian women should use cow’s dung and urine for enhancing their beauty.

Don’t ask me what the logic is in that syllogism.  Where on earth have you found logic in any religious assertions and scriptural truths?  Take it on faith.  Faith is “belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel,” as defined by the Devil’s own immortal Ambrose Bierce.  Forgive me for borrowing a foreign definition; Indians are yet to acquire that sort of sense of humour – we are still steeped in bovine scatological aesthetics.

Cleopatra in donkey's milk
According to reliable information available, Cleopatra used donkey’s milk for making herself seductive.  Nowhere in history do we find Cleopatra packing her face with donkey shit and massaging her face with donkey urine.  But our gaurakshaks are asking our women to use cow dung and cow urine in addition to cow milk, cow ghee and many other things if they want to be Cleopatra’s Indian counterparts.

Source: Economic Times

While the gau bhakts are trying to smear Bharatiya naris’ faces with cow milk and ghee and so on, we may remind ourselves of the fact that “a third of the world’s starving population live in India.”  The milk and ghee could find much better use.


Indian Bloggers




   

Comments

  1. Tomichan, when we were in our teen we used to apply milk cream because we believed that it bleached the tan away and egg white on the head, essentially sunday's became a stinky day, so stinky that we quit using it, Gaumutra ,cow shit -- sounds Bull shit, pun borrowed deliberately. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When the world moves on we keep ourselves buried in cow shit!

      Delete
  2. nice website thank you
    www.virtualtaskhub.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is disgusting!
    Thanks for the informative article.

    ReplyDelete
  4. It sounds positively disgusting !!Yuck !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm absolutely sure there are no women engaged in the research ☺

      Delete
  5. I have an absurd mocking smile on my face as I read this - cows, religion, beautiful women, patriarchy.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a funny world. Even when women are given a lot of liberty apparently, men find a way of keeping her under some excreta.

      Delete
  6. Achieving love and affection by looking beautiful and following all sorts of disgusting and painful processes to look beautiful - are these the only aim of women in their life? For example, the European ball dress with a broad ring bottom is designed to keep women standing for long hours without allowing them to sit in order to keep them slim.
    The sole aim of looking slim, young and beautiful is to entice men and that seems to be the only intention behind giving beauty tips. Why there hasn't been any tips given to women to look beautiful to improve their confidence levels and live life of their own choices? Why winning love and affection should be the sole aim of their keeping themselves fit?
    Also now-a-days there are whatsapp forwards that promote the importance of women only by quoting their sacrifices for their children, husband and parents as if they are the creatures to be sacrificed for the welfare of the family.
    Why are men so jealous of their terrific progress, I wonder. In ancient times, women were so powerful. They even fought wars. But men who were jealous always claim that physical strength is their lone asset. It is only ridiculous that men become so terribly attached to a few things like power, superior status, etc., in a social set up. They love to promote patriarchal society to hide all their weaknesses.
    The beauty tips referred in the blog are certainly prescribed by such outlandish creatures!

    The only solace for women is the presence of those men who have surmounted all such malicious thinking of men in general.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Absolutely valid points, madam. Haven't I been a constant supporter of women's rights? Real rights, I mean, not the right to smear their faces with cow shit or to stand in a straitjacket. Haven't I been a supporter of human rights all through? Haven't I been upholding values and principles? But what happens is that shit sellers run over people like you and me. Shit sells in the world, madam. Go to religious places and you will get shit. Go to politicians and you will get shitty shit. Go to more conservative organisations like RSSB and they will tell you that shit is reserved for their own people. Such is the world. We have to put up with it. Or else be frustrated with it.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Adventures of Toto as a comic strip

  'The Adventures of Toto' is an amusing story by Ruskin Bond. It is prescribed as a lesson in CBSE's English course for class 9. Maggie asked her students to do a project on some of the lessons and Femi George's work is what I would like to present here. Femi converted the story into a beautiful comic strip. Her work will speak for itself and let me present it below.  Femi George Student of Carmel Public School, Vazhakulam, Kerala Similar post: The Little Girl

Yesterday

With students of Carmel Margaret, are you grieving / Over Goldengrove unleaving…? It was one of my first days in the eleventh class of Carmel Public School in Kerala, the last school of my teaching career. One girl, whose name was not Margaret, was in the class looking extremely melancholy. I had noticed her for a few days. I didn’t know how to put the matter over to her. I had already told the students that a smiling face was a rule in the English class. Since Margaret didn’t comply, I chose to drag Hopkins in. I replaced the name of Margaret with the girl’s actual name, however, when I quoted the lines. Margaret is a little girl in the Hopkins poem. Looking at autumn’s falling leaves, Margaret is saddened by the fact of life’s inevitable degeneration. The leaves have to turn yellow and eventually fall. And decay. The poet tells her that she has no choice but accept certain inevitabilities of life. Sorrow is our legacy, Margaret , I said to Margaret’s alter ego in my class. Let

Everything is Politics

Politics begins to contaminate everything like an epidemic when ideology dies. Death of ideology is the most glaring fault line on the rock of present Indian democracy. Before the present regime took charge of the country, political parties were driven by certain underlying ideologies though corruption was on the rise from Indira Gandhi’s time onwards. Mahatma Gandhi’s ideology was rooted in nonviolence. Nothing could shake the Mahatma’s faith in that ideal. Nehru was a staunch secularist who longed to make India a nation of rational people who will reap the abundant benefits proffered by science and technology. Even the violent left parties had the ideal of socialism to guide them. The most heartless political theory of globalisation was driven by the ideology of wealth-creation for all. When there is no ideology whatever, politics of the foulest kind begins to corrode the very soul of the nation. And that is precisely what is happening to present India. Everything is politics

Zorba’s Wisdom

Zorba is the protagonist of Nikos Kazantzakis’s novel Zorba the Greek . I fell in love with Zorba the very first time I read the novel. That must have been in my late 20s. I read the novel again after many years. And again a few years ago. I loved listening to Zorba play his santuri . I danced with him on the Cretan beaches. I loved the devil inside Zorba. I called that devil Tomichan. Zorba tells us the story of a monk who lived on Mount Athos. Father Lavrentio. This monk believed that a devil named Hodja resided in him making him do all wrong things. Hodja wants to eat meet on Good Friday, Hodja wants to sleep with a woman, Hodja wants to kill the Abbot… The monk put the blame for all his evil thoughts and deeds on Hodja. “I’ve a kind of devil inside me, too, boss, and I call him Zorba!” Zorba says. I met my devil in Zorba. And I learnt to call it Tomichan. I was as passionate as Zorba was. I enjoyed life exuberantly. As much as I was allowed to, at least. The plain truth is

The Little Girl

The Little Girl is a short story by Katherine Mansfield given in the class 9 English course of NCERT. Maggie gave an assignment to her students based on the story and one of her students, Athena Baby Sabu, presented a brilliant job. She converted the story into a delightful comic strip. Mansfield tells the story of Kezia who is the eponymous little girl. Kezia is scared of her father who wields a lot of control on the entire family. She is punished severely for an unwitting mistake which makes her even more scared of her father. Her grandmother is fond of her and is her emotional succour. The grandmother is away from home one day with Kezia's mother who is hospitalised. Kezia gets her usual nightmare and is terrified. There is no one at home to console her except her father from whom she does not expect any consolation. But the father rises to the occasion and lets the little girl sleep beside him that night. She rests her head on her father's chest and can feel his heart